Slice of Life Day 25- Searching for the Balance in Independence and Healing

I am participating in the Slice of Life 30 Day Writing Challenge.  Writing is reflective and a great way to discover more about your life.  To learn more about the challenge or read other Slice of Life posts visit Two Writing Teachers.

Little did I know the hard part was just beginning…

Thursday my husband was released from the hospital 3 days after having a five hour surgery on his back.  When the doctor asked "Are you ready to go home?"  My husband smiled for the first time in weeks. (He was very nervous about having the surgery and in a great deal of pain prior to the procedure).  I was excited to see him smiling and to be bringing him home, no more trips to the hospital, no more hospital food, no more tubes and no more insatiable beeping machines!

Home will be quiet, Tim will rest quietly and I will catch up on reading, writing and a few chores around the house. Tim and I can stay up late chatting and watching movies. This will be like mini "staycation."  Friends will come to visit and I will cook a few big meals that we can munch on thorough the week  and we will just sit back and rest, both of need to rest, this is going to be perfect.

Well, I wasn't entirely wrong…

 I am doing more writing, I am actually reading a fiction book for pleasure. (I am only on page 100 after 3 days… are you starting to see where this going?)  Tim is resting, and resting and resting.  He's too tired to even finish a 30 minute sitcom- so no movies.  We are having trouble getting the pain under control so I am setting an alarm for every 4 hours (yes, 24 hours a day) to make sure we keep his medication at the correct level to keep him comfortable.  So as you can imagine all these meds make late night conversations very one sided, I do get the best answers this way!

We do have friends and family dropping by to visit, bringing us food and keeping me balanced!  I am thankful for this because the homemade meatballs I planned to make Friday are just now (9PM Tuesday) simmering in the pot!  It seems just as I begin a task for the house or myself I need to be nurse. As I am working as a nurse I am not being an empathetic wife and as I work to be more of an empathetic wife I am acting like  I am his mom.  Where is the balance in making sure he is doing what he needs to heal and allowing him to have his independence and showing empathy?  I feel like the only approach I have is tough love.

I don't mean to be motherly or strict on him, it's just so difficult to see your anchor down when you both want him to be up on deck.  Maybe this isn't tough love or motherly maybe it's just necessary to bring him back to better than he was prior to surgery.

Working to find the balance~ taking each day slowly and lovingly.

SOL Day 15/31~Family Weekend

This weekend has been reserved for family! Sadly our college girl heads back to campus Monday and my husband Tim will undergo back surgery.  Knowing the upcoming week(s) will be difficult on us all we have all locked down our calendars for family only! 

So what fantastic things do we have planned?  Nothing!  Yep, I said nothing!  We are playing it by ear, hanging out and just being together. Today started out as we watched as Livi walk in the St. Patrick's Day parade with her dance studio. After the parade we stopped by to visit Grammy and Papaw and then headed out to lunch. After lunch we went home and started cleaning! 

Yep, our exciting, play-it-by ear day led us to cleaning. We cleaned the house (the key word here is WE)!  Working as a team and conquering the enormity of cleaning the house (which seems to grow the minute you take out the cleaning bucket) seemed like what this family needed to do on family weekend.  Is it possible we are all nesting in preparation for the weeks to come?

Of course, we were all to tired to cook after all this collaborative cleaning so we headed to favorite restaurant downtown.  We have eaten at this restaurant many times and it's always been great. Tonight was especially nice.  We lucked into a window table!  I just love a window seat and this table was in a corner of windows! The neighborhood was busy, the local homes were gorgeous, and the coming and going of the customers along with the basketball game on the TV kept this family lively in conversation and enjoyment. 

Now that we are settling in for the night in a fresh house, with clean laundry and new sheets we can wait to see what tomorrow holds!  Lets hope something more fun seeps into our day tomorrow! (*Smiling*) 

The Jr. High Devils~ SOL Day 6

This month I am participating in the Slice of Life Challenge. Each day for the month of March I will write about a slice of my life. My first graders are also participating!


This Slice of Life was born back in the days before caller id, when phones were still connected to walls, when teens ran like lighting to answer a ringing phone and then spent HOURS TALKING on the phone. Remember those days? Where they've gone I am not sure, but I do know they have left an imprint on my life. 


Step back into this memory with me. I was spending the night with one of my best friends, Sue. We were sitting in her room talking, dreaming and scheming. Sue and I were good at scheming and quite proud of our skills, (just ask our middle school counselor who fondly referred to us as the "Jr. High Devils")! Well, this night was one for the history books.

Sue and I sat in her bedroom talking about all the things young teen girls do and we planned prank calls for our entertainment.  We loved to call neighbors and ask to borrow bullion cubes, ask for Prince Albert in a can and our all time favorite, Is your refrigerator running… you know that one I am sure. Of course, we called cute boys just too hear their voices and then we  "pretended we had the wrong number."  We were the MASTER of the prank call and all our friends knew just how good we were, we were legendary! 

So this particular night we called Pam (the third of the Jr. High Devils). We knew she would know it was us, this would just be our "warm up" call for the night. 

RING, RING, RING…

        "Hello"

      

       "Hi! This is Carol Dempsey from WNCI Radio and if you can tell me the phrase

that pays YOU win the new FRAMPTON COMES LIVE album!" pause… (Sue and I are holding back bust-a-gut giggles-)

     "Oh, Oh, WNCI means more music!" Pam screams eagerly back into the phone! 

  What!!! Did she really believe we were Carol Dempsey? Pam didn't recognize my voice? No way! We talked on the phone all the time! Are we that good that we could fool our best friend? 

  

     "OK, please stay on the line so we can get your information and we will get the album out to you." Carol replied.

Pause…control laughter…stay in character...

    "OK, I am ready can I get your first and last name, OK good, your street address...  your zip code? Great we will have this out to you as soon as possible! Congratulations and thanks for listening!"  Sue and I are laughing so hard Sue is snorting and I am crying! Did poor Pam really think she had won?  She couldn't have? She knows us!

Wow! Sue and I had reached an all time level of THE MASTER PRANK CALL!  Monday at school Pam shared her "great news" with everyone, Sue and I stood backed and watched. Finally, we pulled Pam aside, we couldn't let our best friend go on anymore, we had to come clean and confess our prank. Pam listened, but held strong, she HAD talked to Carol Dempsey and she had WON the album. 

Jump ahead to Pam's 40th birthday… Guess who was there… CAROL DEMPSEY (AKA as me and Sue!) with Pam's album, Frampton Comes LIve! Sue and I took the microphone and reenacted the infamous call and then presented our dear sweet friend with the Frampton Comes Live album! The hugs and tears that followed were intense; if I pause I can still feel the pressure and warmth of those hugs, hugs that marked 25 years of friendship. 

Sue and Pam and I are still close friends! We have known each other since jr. high and when we start chatting about old times or our lives today that connection is still there, it always will be! 

Love ya both! 




Somethings Never Change

This month I am participating in the Slice of Life Challenge. Each day for the month of March I will write about a slice of my life. This blog and this challenge are a place for me to look at life and discover where writing will take me. I am proud to share with you that my first graders are also participating!

Yesterday my oldest daughter (who is now in college) posted this photo on FaceBook for Transformation Tuesday. This photo made me pause; my girls have grown so much over the years. As cliché as it sounds, it really does seem like just yesterday they were toddlers running through the house laughing and leaving toys and sippy cups in their paths. Well, wait not everything has changed, now one daughter flies in and out the house leaving car keys, water bottles, gym bags and shoes, shoes, and SHOES in her path. 

It's funny how I look back and miss a time that once was and still look forward to what's yet to come. A friend once told me every age will be your favorite. I didn't understand this at the time, but now I can say she was right. Each stage brings new experiences and new discoveries. I love watching my girls grow into beautiful young women with opinions and goals. It can be a challenge to step back just enough to let them reach for those dreams even though they may struggle along the way. This is just what moms do, we pull back, then we push forward and we pray all the way. 

Looking around my house I can still see the signs of my daughters they just look different. The lower level that once was FILLED with toys of all sizes is now filled with an air hockey table, football, hockey and Broadway Play memorable, a popcorn machine, game table, a treadmill and a large screen TV. The table that was once accessorized with highchairs and booster seats is now covered with book bags, purses, car keys and coats. The bathtub that was once overtaken by rubber ducks, baby shampoo and plastic books is now home to a variety of shampoos, face wash, and a loofah. The bedrooms that were once pink fairies, American Girl Dolls, books, special blankies and dolls are now floors littered with clothes, tech devices, magazines and special blankies and dolls. 

~Some things never change. 

Writing Anxiously...

Well, here I am writing my first slice for the 30 Day Slice of Life Writing Challenge.  I accepted this challenge with trepidation.  Not because I don't know what to write, I have lots of stories swirling in my head and if you know me you know that's true.  I love to write and when I sit down to write (most days, but not all days) words I didn't know I had just seem to find there way to the paper.  I am nervous because I am afraid my writing will sound pretentious.  I love words and when I read the words of others I think, I wish I could write like that, or that's a great word or phrase. I think I have been a bit of a word admirer most of my life. So now I as join this challenge I hope to find my personal writing voice, a voice that represents my thoughts and is authentic to who I am. 

I have had many gentle nudges and words of encouragement along my journey of writing, but @cathymere knows me well, maybe too well.  Cathy asked me to consider offering this challenge to my class!  This was an offer I couldn't say no too, this was something the class would have to decide.  So I presented the idea to my class as an option and the excitement in my room was palpable, kids cheered, some clapped and some even jumped to their knees with excitement.  Immediately we had 10 of 21 first graders committed to the 30 Day Writing Challenge, by the end of the day we had 17 committed and excited writers!  I am not sure where this journey will take us but I know we will find support and encouragement along the way. 

So now I have completed day one of the 30-day challenge! I already have a few ideas for tomorrow, we will see which worlds find their way to the page tomorrow.